I’ll be honest—when someone asks me about a major turning point in my life, I come up empty-handed. I’ve never had that one, life-altering moment that flipped my world 180°. All I can offer are short stories about me.
Back at the start of junior high school, I was one of those kids who was quiet, antisocial, and didn’t speak much. I was afraid. I thought too much about people’s views of me. What are my current expressions like? Why does she look at me like that? Have I done something wrong?
Most of my time was spent lost in daydream. A different world where people were kinder. I longed for a world without hatred, where no one had to carry such burdens. So, I tried to blend in. I tried to look “normal,” whatever that meant. I thought if I could just be like everyone else, maybe I’d finally feel at peace.
Then, sometime in 8th grade, I came across a book. Antoine De Saint-Exupéry’s _The Little Prince. It moved something within me. So, I looked in deeper and that’s where I found my favourite quote to this day:
“Of course, I’ll hurt you. Of course, you’ll hurt me. Of course, we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
Happy and sad, win and lose, they coexist. There won’t be any warmth without cold. That’s the condition of life. And maybe, just maybe, one of the voices that hurt me the most… was my own. Perhaps my biggest enemy has always been myself.
Since then, I’ve been learning. Learning that to truly love others, I have to start by loving myself. I found out that no two people have the same colours. Everyone walks a different path, shaped by different choices. Blending in doesn’t mean erasing who I am. We’re all different shades, and that’s what makes this world alive.
Now, I try to embrace who I really am. People will always talk—but that’s okay. Eventually, you find the ones who see you, who love you for simply being you. And that’s what truly matters.
by Zahra Nafisa Syu’la Laili